We build ourselves to be destroyed
by rayshells
Summary: Amelia made a decision : no more men into her life. How long will this last? Amelia and Owen after the party in Meredith's house in the 11x24.
1. Chapter 1

It has been two weeks since the party at Meredith's house. And it has been two weeks too that Amelia and Owen haven't talked together. She tried to avoid him as much as possible in the hospital and then, after work, she would go straight home without taking any drink with her friends to make sure she would not see him. The brown haired girl made a decision: she didn't want to love men again, because she knew that if she does, the guy will risk death. It is what happened to all the men she ever loved: her dad, her brother, Ryan and even her baby. The young woman did not want this to happen again, Owen deserves to live so she must break off all ties with him before it is too late. She thought she was falling for him, but now that she thinks about it better and she realizes it was just a simple fling, maybe a little more, but now it is over.

Even though Meredith has decided not to sell the house, Amelia couldn't stay there any longer. She needed to have her own place if she wanted to settle here as she was now the head of the neurosurgery department. The brunette did not want to run away, not anymore.

* * *

Amelia was on call for twenty-four hours. When the emergency room was pretty calm around two o'clock in the morning, eighteen hours after the beginning of her shift, she finally walked until the closest on call room, feeling like she would collapse if she didn't bed down in the following minute. Once in the room, she hurried in a bed when she heard a voice.

 _"Amelia? Is that you?"_

It was really dark and she barely recognized who was speaking. The surgeon guessed who spoke to her thanks to the voice.

 _"Mh… Yeah, it's me."_

 _"Can we talk for a minute?"_

The woman laid herself on the bed and answered to Owen.

 _"Not today sorry, I'm too tired."_ She said, hoping he wouldn't insist so she could get some sleep before being paged again.

 _"Okay, then when? I really would like to talk."_ Asked the redhead man.

 _"I don't know Owen, I'll text you."_ she told him with an impatient tone.

 _"Okay then… mh, see you later."_ It sounded more like a question, as if he was not sure he would see her again, at least not before a long time.

Amelia did not respond, she was already falling asleep, she just waved her hand even though it was probably too dark for him to see it.

* * *

One hour later, the young woman was being paged for an emergency. When she arrived in the ER, the patient was already brain dead. It was a twenty-eight-year-old man, he was going home with his wife and daughter after a wedding party. He drove while being drunk, that is what caused the accident. The neurosurgeon went to consult the wife and the little girl. This latter needed a brain surgery, Amelia scrubbed in, being mad at the father for being so unaware of having endangered the life of his daughter while driving drunk.

The surgery last five hours, and it was successful because the eight-year-old girl was almost out of danger now. She would live, and that made Amelia happy, saving people was the only goal in her life. Her shift was finished at eight o'clock, right after her last surgery. The brunette could have went back at Meredith's house, but she was being too lazy to drive so she went back into an on call room. Once again, Owen was there. But this time he was asleep. The young woman just took one minute to look at him, he seemed so peaceful when he was sleeping, and then for the second time of the night, she laid herself on the bed, without bothering to cover herself with a blanket, she was definitely too exhausted for that.

When she woke up, few hours later, Amelia noticed that she had a blanket on her. Somebody might have put it there, maybe it was Owen or maybe somebody else. She threw a glance over the bed he occupied to see if he was still here but he was gone. Then, she checked on her phone and saw a text saying "Don't forget to text me when you'll have time to talk." It made her smile. The woman didn't plan on texting him and she won't. She will let the time pass and he would finally forget her and meet another woman with whom he would get married and have children. Someone who will make him happy.

Amelia got up, gathered her things and finally went back at Meredith's place. She was not working until the next day so she spent the rest of the day playing with Zola and Bailey. In the evening, Meredith asked her if she wanted to come at Joe's with them.

 _"Who will be there?"_ answered Amelia.

 _"I don't really know, April, Callie, Alex, Maggie, Owen… I think almost everybody will be there."_ Said her sister-in-law.

 _"No, I'm not coming… Somebody has to stay with the kids and I am really tired, I need some sleep."_ She did not really need sleep because she has rested sooner that day. But she didn't want to see Owen yet, at least not until he was over them.

Owen did not seem to get that their story, or their fling, was over now and that there would not be anything else between them. She thought about texting him to tell him he should stop hoping but she was not strong enough to do that, he would be upset and sad and the brunette did not want that.

 _"Are you sure? Because I can call the babysitter and if you're tired we won't stay to long."_ Proposed Meredith.

Amelia really wanted to go out, she really missed that. She thought about it for thirty second.

 _"Okay… I'm coming, but we don't stay too late."_

The young woman would avoid Owen, if there are a lot of people it should not be too difficult.

When they arrived in the bar, there were too many people. She quickly scanned the whole room looking for him but he was not here and wondered where he was because he was supposed to be there. Amelia sat at a table with April and Meredith, half listening their conversation.

 _"I thought you were going back to the war with the army and all."_ Said Meredith.

 _"Yeah, I wanted to but I knew that if I did, Jackson and I would break up and I don't want that, so many later… when our couple will be stronger."_ April replied.

They continued talking about the war when Owen came into the bar. Amelia has quietly shifted in front of April so he would not see her. It did not really help because he walked towards them to greet them. She hoped he will go to see Alex and Jackson but instead he took a chair to sit next to her.

 _"Did you get my text?"_ Owen questioned her.

 _"Mh.. Yeah I got it."_ Said Amelia, faking she was into April and Meredith's conversation.

 _"Maybe we can talk right now."_ He suggested.

 _"There are too many people around us Owen, I don't want too."_ She answered.

 _"So let's go outside!"_

 _"No, I don't want to, there is nothing to talk about._ " Amelia told him.

 _"What? We have so many thing to talk about! Like the fact you completely stopped talking to me and started to avoid me at the hospital, you think I didn't see?"_ Owen seemed a little mad at her.

 _"I did, it's true but I have thought about it, and I don't want to see you anymore Owen, you and I, it was just a simple fling, I don't want to go further with you, okay?"_ She was maybe a little harsh but she did not know how to say it another way. Owen's face broke her heart, he looked so sad and upset at the same time.

 _"Okay so… I won't bother you anymore, I am sorry I totally misunderstood… I… I thought that we were more than a fling."_ After saying that, he took his coat which was on the chair, got up and then went outside of the bar. Letting Amelia feeling more than guilty about what she just said.

* * *

 **Hey! This is pretty short but I just want to know if it's worthy enough to continue or not, so tell me what you think about it and if I should keep up :)**

 **Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

When Owen left, the young woman felt stupid. She threw a glance to the others but no one seemed to have noticed what just happened between the two surgeons. They were all happy. Amelia, meanwhile, was not at all. She wanted him to understand there will never be anything more between the two of them but she didn't mean to break his heart. The brunette had planned to tell him softly, but it didn't happen this way. She spoke without thinking twice about what she was saying, she should have. But it has been a really hard day, after being on call at the hospital for twenty-four hours, she does not want to have a serious and long conversation. She rose up.

 _"Meredith, can we go home now?"_ Amelia asked, she thought that she should have taken her car.

 _"What? Not yet!? We just arrived here"_

 _"I know but I'm really tired, I am going to call a cab don't worry."_ She smiled at her sister-in-law, grabbed her back and then went out to call a cab.

When she called the cab company they told her that she will have to wait at least fifteen minutes. The young woman was pissed off she didn't want to wait more than a quarter of an hour until going home, but she didn't have the choice. She sat on the sidewalk behind her, because after spending many hours up in surgery, the young woman couldn't feel her legs anymore.

She sighted Owen, who left the bar few minutes before her. He was in his car ready to go home. When he started the car and left, she knew he saw her but he fainted he didn't. Finally, Amelia's cab came to take her home twenty minutes after. The next day, the neurosurgeon only started at one in the afternoon, so she stayed in bed until eleven o'clock because she only managed to fall asleep around four in the morning.

* * *

The first thing to do when the shift starts, is rounds. That's what the brown haired woman did. Then there was no surgery scheduled before two hours so she went into the cafeteria where Maggie and Arizona were already and sat at the table with them.

 _"Hey what's up? Who's the woman with Owen?"_ remarked Arizona, staring at the table behind them.

Amelia immediately turned around to see Owen. Indeed, there was a gorgeous blond girl with him and they looked like they were having a lot of fun together. The woman was laughing out loud to something he has just said.

 _"Mh... I don't know, probably his new girlfriend."_ Amelia said.

 _"Oh really? I didn't know he had a girlfriend."_ Maggie answered looking at the neurosurgeon.

" _Me neither."_ Mumbled Amelia.

At this moment, Owen rose his head and made an eye contact with her, she tried to smile at him but it was much more looking like a grimace than a grin. To greet her, he just made a simple nod and then broke the eye contact to look at the other woman again. She felt a hint of jealousy within her whole body. Yet seeing Owen happy with another woman was all she wished for. Her head was a mess at the moment, he was supposed to be a simple fling, she had let him go, and she is not in love with him, so why does she feel jealous when she sees him with somebody else? She did not have the time to think more about this because a trauma arrived in the Emergency Room and she was paged to go.

The patient was a young girl, she had fell while washing her window in the third floor of a building. She had multiple fractures and wounds on her body. Amelia started to check on the girl's head when Owen

entered in the room with Callie. She looked at them quickly.

" _We have to take her to do an X-Ray and a MRI right now."_ Amelia said looking at them.

All of the people in the room moved at the same time, perfectly synced and shifted the patient to lead her in the X-Ray room. When this was over, Callie, Owen and Amelia waited for the results together, to see if she needed surgery or not, even though it was obvious that her broken leg should be fixed with an operation. Owen and Amelia were both ill-at-ease, unlike Callie, who was completely comfortable and broke the silence.

" _Hey Owen, I heard rumors about you and a new girlfriend today, tell me more about it!"_

" _Mh, well, there is not a lot of things to say… She's not my girlfriend, we're just dating."_ He responded, more uncomfortable that he was before.

" _Who is she? And where did you meet her?"_ Amelia suddenly spoke, she was too curious to stay quiet.

" _Her name is Maureen, she's from the geriatric service of the hospital, I had a surgery on one of her patient, that's how I met her."_ He responded, without looking at her.

" _How long have you been dating?"_ asked Callie, making Owen feel like he was in a police interrogation.

" _This morning only, it was our first date today."_

The two other surgeons did not have the time to question him more because the results of the MRI and the X-Ray appeared in the computer screen. Even though the patient's head was badly injured, she did not need a surgery, she should be fine, on the other hand her leg needed the intervention of Callie, and Owen would help her. Amelia hurried out of the room, she did not know why but she could not bear Owen's presence in the same place as her anymore, it was too uncomfortable. Once she left them, she headed to the OR and scrubbed in for her routine surgery that was scheduled in the afternoon.

After this surgery, all she had to do was some consults in the emergency room. She finished her day of work around eleven pm. Before going home, the doctor went to check one last time on the patient who fell from the window to make sure there were no brain damages one last time and then left the hospital.

When she came home, it was not really her home but she considered it as hers, nobody was here. The kids were probably at the daycare of the hospital and Meredith on call. If Amelia knew she could have picked them up but it was too late now. She showered and prepared herself to sleep. Before going to bed, she took her computer to search some houses or apartments adds on the internet. She found some really interesting, close to the hospital, and noted the phone numbers on a paper, promising herself she would call them the next day. Shortly afterwards, she found her way to the guest room, which was now her room, and lay down on the bed. The young woman checked her phone one last time. One of the last message she has received was Owen's one, the one he sent her the day before. On a whim, she decided to answer him 'Hey, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday, hope it didn't hurt you. I'm glad you found someone, you two are really cute together, make it last.' She put her phone on the nightstand and closed her eyes. But ten minutes later, she heard her phone ring, Owen has answered her text. His message said: 'Don't worry for yesterday. Thank you, I hope it will last too, I really like her even if we're only dating for a day, goodnight Amelia.' Just because she wanted the last word, she replied 'Goodnight Owen.' and put her phone back on the nightstand and fell immediately asleep.

Amelia was not working the next day, she used her day off to call the people for the apartments she had found the day before. Only two people out of three answered to her. She agreed to visit them in the afternoon. When she did, she had a crush on one of them. Forthwith, she decided that it will be her new home. She talked with the owner and made the lease. She could move in whenever she wanted to. The apartment was pretty small, there was only one bedroom, a bathroom and a living room where the kitchen was. But it was definitely enough for her as she was living alone.

* * *

The next shift of the neurosurgeon started at seven in the evening, for twelve hours, the day after her apartments visit. She told Meredith that she will move into her new home in the week end and that she will need help to install the furnitures she will buy. Meredith told her she will come and bring some help with her.

When Amelia reached the hospital that day, she saw Owen coming on the parking behind her. Of course, they had to be on the same shift. She sighed and got in the hospital.

" _Amelia, wait!"_ A voice shouted. She turned and discover Owen, running after her.

" _Hey, what's up?"_ She said as she stopped waiting for him and started to walk again when he reached her.

" _Hi! You're on call too?"_ He asked.

" _Looks like I am."_ Amelia muttered.

Once she put her white coat on, she headed to the emergency room, which was really agitated that night. There were patients everywhere, not enough beds for everybody. Amelia made consults for the cases which were not neurologic cases, to dismiss as much patients as possible. Most of them came for minor problems and could go back home immediately. Owen was here too, as well as a lot of other doctors.

After few hours, the ER was almost empty, only the most serious cases were still there, but none of them were neurologic. So Amelia went in the cafeteria to eat a doughnut ant drink a coffee. She was exhausted after all these consults. _He_ entered in the cafeteria and sat at her table. The fact that he was coming to her proved he wanted things to get better between them and she was glad he did, they could not stay like that a long time as they were working together.

" _Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?"_ Amelia said sharply. It was the first thing that came in her mind.

" _She's not working now, and she's not my girlfriend. We are only dating, remember?"_ Retorted Owen, her gaze dropped on his face and she smiled.

" _Dating and girlfriend, it's the same, isn't it?"_ She answered, frowning.

" _Not at all, when you date someone, you only meet that person at one point and you only talk, but when somebody is your girlfriend or boyfriend there are kisses and all the couple stuffs."_ He explained to her. Amelia purchased her investigation.

" _Oh, so it means that you haven't kissed her yet, right?"_ She asked raising an eyebrow. _"If you did, you'd call her your girlfriend, no?"_

" _Why does that interest you? It's not really your business."_

" _No it's not, you're right. But I'll know that when you'll start calling her your girlfriend, it will mean that you'd have been further with her."_

" _Maybe. When does your shift finish?"_ He said nervously, changing the subject.

" _In less than two hours, what about you?"_ She responded and then drank a gulp of her coffee.

" _Same."_ They remained sitting in front of each other in utter silence for a short moment until Owen's pager rang _. "Well, I have to go, see you soon."_

Amelia did not answered anything and he left the table, letting her alone. She started to think about her life, about how unlucky she was. The young woman wanted a normal life, she wanted to marry a good guy and that her father takes her to the altar. She wished she could have a real family who will be waiting for her at home when she will come back from work. But it couldn't happen, she tried once but it failed. Her fiancé died and her baby died too, she thought it was a sign saying she could never have a happy life, even if she was probably wrong. She really thought she could have something special with Owen, she wanted to, but then Derek died and everything has changed. Amelia stopped thinking about all of this because if she continued she will be depressed and it was something bad for her. Depression makes that she will be craving for some drugs and she does not want that to happen, not anymore. She was staring at the tiling without really watching it when somebody hid her sight. She rose her head to see who the person in front of her was.

" _I heard you are moving to a new apartment this weekend, Meredith asked me to come help you, that's great!"_ Maggie said.

" _Yeah I just thought I needed my own place."_ Amelia answered.

" _I can understand, living with three kids might be hard sometimes."_ Maggie said.

" _No, it's not because of the kids, I like them so much, it's just because I feel like an intruder in their house and that I'm not going to live with them forever."_

" _Oh okay, well I have to go, see you this weekend."_ Maggie smiled and moved away. Amelia also left the cafeteria to go to check on some of her post-op patient before leaving the hospital.

* * *

When finally she parked her car into Meredith driveway, she saw Zola and Bailey playing together through the huge window. Amelia stepped outside the car and went inside the house. Meredith was about to go to work.

" _Hey, do you want me to take care of the kids?"_ Amelia proposed, as her day of work was over _. "I don't have anything to do today."_

" _No it's okay, Zola can't stop telling how she's looking forward to see Sophia at the daycare so I'm going to take all of them but thanks, that's nice from you."_ Meredith said.

" _No problem, you know how much I like to take care of my nephew and nieces."_ Amelia said, taking Ellis who was on the baby bouncer to hug her.

" _Be careful, she ate not a long time ago, she could throw up on you."_ Meredith laughed and so did Amelia before putting the baby back in the baby bouncer. They talked together for few minutes and then Meredith went to work leaving Amelia alone. This latter did not know what to do. She could not sleep because of the coffee she drank at the hospital, she was wide awake. The brunette did not know what to do so she turned the television on but she couldn't find any interesting program so she finally turned it off. She was quiet bored, thinking about calling a friend to hang out a little bit but she did not have any close friend here.

She thought about Owen, even though they could not be a couple, they could be friends, he was really someone nice and a good friend. Amelia desired to have him as a friend so she chose to text him: _'Hi Owen, I was wondering if you'd like to take a coffee with me? I don't want us to be on bad terms because of some stupidities.'_ After sending it, she regretted a little bit the end of the message because it was like she was saying that what happened between them was stupid whereas it was not. Sooner that day, Owen showed her he still wished them to be friends while coming to see her in the cafeteria. It was the same for her, she could not bear being ill-at-ease when he is near her.

It seemed like forever to the young woman before the man replied to her message. His answer was saying: _'Sure, I don't want this either. For the coffee, anytime, just tell me when you want to.'_ She smiled while reading the text and wrote back: _'Today? Right now?'_ She did not know why she felt suddenly the urge of seeing him. Less than a minute later, Owen answered to her: _'Perfect, at Joe's in 15 minutes'_

Amelia jumped off the sofa and put her shoes and coat on, she brushed her hair quickly and retouched her make-up and then left the house to jump in the car and drove until the bar.

* * *

Owen was not there yet when the neurosurgeon reached the bar. She took a seat at a table in the back of the room, waiting for him. He entered only few minutes after her and saw her directly, he waved his hand and went to order the coffees before joining her. He headed towards her with the two cups in his hands and finally put one in front of her.

" _Thank you."_ Amelia said.

" _You're welcome."_ He smiled at her.

A silence appeared, none of them knew what to say to each other. Amelia was watching the people around us while Owen was losing himself in her blue eyes. After a while, she spoke first.

" _I am moving out of Meredith and Derek's house to get my own place."_

" _Really? That's awesome, where are you going to live?"_

" _A little apartment next to the hospital, you could come to visit it if you want to."_

" _Of course I will! I should think about getting a new place too, the trailer is great but it's not a real home."_ He said laughing and she joined her laugh to his. _"Did you want to talk about something in particular?"_ Owen asked her.

" _Not really."_ She shook her head. _"What about you?"_

" _I don't know."_ He simply said but then continued _. "There were so many things I wanted to talk about but you made everything cleared when you told me we were just a fling."_ He laughed nervously.

" _I'm so sorry, I was really tired last time, I didn't mean to be harsh. What did you want to ask me?"_ Amelia said feeling guilty once again about what she said few days before.

" _It was not important, don't worry about this. You already answered everything."_

" _No please tell me, I wanna know!"_ She said pouting, he could not resist that face.

" _I wondered what you felt for me, what you and I meant, if we still had a chance to get back together, but we weren't even together so… But all these questions got an answer so it's okay."_

Amelia felt bad and did not know what to answer. She looked at him and smiled sadly.

" _What I did feel for you was something strong, something similar to love. I even thought I was in love with you, but after only few dates we started to argue and I realized that you and I together was a bad idea, we were already broke before we started to build something. Then Derek died and you're gone with the army for few months, that's all I have to say."_ She chose to be honest and told him the truth. Owen was feeling better after he heard her say she was almost in love.

" _When we argued, everything was so stressful, I didn't really mean to tell you we were going to crash and all, if I knew it will cause our definitive end, I would not have said that."_ Owen said, still looking at her right in her eyes, she was doing the same.

" _It's too late now Owen, no need to feel guilty about it, it was months ago."_

" _Why did you say we were just a simple fling if you almost loved me?"_ He asked curiously.

" _Because, we didn't date enough times to be a couple, it was just a fling, it didn't last a long time, it's what a fling is."_ She responded him. Despite the subject, the conversation was really calm. Owen's phone rang, it meant that he had received a message. He checked his phone and looked at Amelia.

" _I'm so sorry, but I have to go. I have a date with Maureen today."_ He said, she couldn't believe that he was about to leave her alone for another woman. Amelia never talked to the woman from the geriatric service but she could tell that she was pissed at her, without any reason.

" _Of course, you can go. Is she your girlfriend now?"_ She said, wanting to know if he had kissed his new date partner or not.

" _Maybe."_ He replied and vanished into the crowd of people, without saying goodbye. Amelia remained alone in the back of the bar. He was gone suddenly and he didn't even finish his coffee, he left in the middle of an important conversation. Amelia did not understand what just happened and she was a little bit mad at him, she wished he would stay longer with her.

* * *

 **Hey! So this chapter is much longer than the first one, thank you so much for the few reviews I had on the previous chapter! Tell me if you like this one, if I should continue the story or not and follow if you like it :)**


	3. Chapter 3

After Owen's depart, the young woman was still voiceless, everything happened so fast. They were talking calmly, he received a text from his new girlfriend and then left without saying goodbye, in the middle of the conversation. She finished her coffee and exited the bar. On her way back home, Amelia was overthinking. When she asked if this woman, Maureen, was finally his girlfriend he said "Maybe", so it means yes and also it means that Owen and Maureen kissed or did more than this. Maybe he was just kidding and he said "Maybe" just to tease her. Because they were only dating for two or three days and it was definitely not enough to start kissing. All of this was confused to her. She had decided to wait the next day and ask him when she will see him at the hospital.

* * *

But her plan, which was to question him the day after at the hospital, failed. She did not see him the next day. Then it was Saturday and she took her weekend off to move into her new home. Few people came to help her: Meredith, Maggie, April and Arizona. Only girls. On Sunday night, Amelia could already live in it. It felt so good to her to have her own place, it was small but really cozy. The first few nights were tough, she lost the habit that everything is so quiet. At Meredith, it was always noisy.

The following week, she was still unable to speak with Owen because it seemed like he was avoiding her. So she gave up the idea of talking together, it was not important after all. Eventually, the brunette found him alone in an empty hallway of the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The redhead man was sitting on the floor. She walks toward him.

"Hey Owen, you okay?" She said.

"Hi, yeah I'm fine, what about you?" He said with a coy smile.

"Great, what are you doing here, alone?" Amelia asked and she sat down beside him.

"Nothing special, I am just thinking and resting myself." Answered Owen.

"There are on call rooms for that you know, they are much more comfortable." Amelia said, laughing.

"I know, I checked the on call rooms, some were full, and some had people talking loudly or people snoring so I was looking for a place to rest and I found this hallway."

"You can go in a patient room if you need to sleep." She suggested. Normally, doctors cannot do that but many of them do it. Amelia never tried before, even though sometimes it was tempting. The patient rooms are quite better than the on call rooms, for many reasons but the most obvious is that there is only one bed so nobody will come to bother.

"It's against the rules. Moreover, my shift is almost over so I'll be soon at home and I could sleep."

"You can't really call your trailer your home." She mocked.

"The trailer is my home, it is perfect for me and completely enough." He replied.

"Where have you been?" Amelia asked, changing the subject.

"What? I was here why?"

"You and I were having coffee and talking together, then you received a text from Maureen and you left me alone, you did not even say goodbye to me." She said, a pout on her face. "Normally I always see you at work but this whole week, it was like you vanished, you were anywhere, and I haven't seen you once."

"I told you I had to go and you said it was okay so I left." Owen said, an incredulous look on his face. "And I was here last week."

"I wasn't expecting you to go so fast, you did not answer my last question, and where were you then?"

Owen did not answer directly, he was wondering what her last question was. He chose to omit to answer that part of her phrase and only answer the question.

"I was here, like always. Maybe I have spent a little bit more time in the geriatric service when I had nothing to do, but that's all." Owen told her, smiling.

"Of course the geriatric service, I should have guessed." She laughed nervously while speaking. "So, she's your girlfriend now, isn't she?"

"No, not yet. It's been only two weeks, I don't want to move too fast with her. She's nice and I want to take my time."

"Okay, that's great." She didn't know why but she felt, once again, a hint of jealousy. Amelia couldn't say if the jealousy was because she wanted someone to talk about her like Owen just did with Maureen or if she was jealous of Maureen for dating Owen. She opted for the first reason. It couldn't be the second because she was not in love with Owen so she could not be jealous for him. None of them added something and they remained quiet. They were both on the floor, enjoying the silence. Amelia realized that the floor was comfy after all. Her eyelids even became heavy and she was about to fall asleep. Owen, who was on the left of the young woman, had his eyes wide open, thinking about his life. He was getting older and hasn't built his family yet. He always thought he would be married with at least two children at thirty but it didn't happen. He is watching life pass without doing anything. He felt like his dream of having children will never come true, maybe Maureen will be the woman who will give him a happy family.

Amelia was really tempted of laying her head on his shoulder, to be more comfortable but she was scared of rejection from him. She did it anyway, too exhausted. She did not feel tired before sitting on the floor of this hallway, but now she could barely keep her eyes open. Owen did not say anything when he felt Amelia's head on his shoulder. "I have to go, patients are probably waiting for me in the ER." She whispered, but not moving at all and keeping her eyes closed.

"You will be paged if they need a neuro consult, you know." Owen spoke in low voice and laid his eyes on her. "But maybe you should try to find an on call room, you are going to get a back ache if you sleep here." He was right. She mustered her strength and rose up. Owen got up too and they walked together, in silence, to the closest on call room. He opened the door and checked the beds. Nobody was there, they had luck.

"Here you go." He said. "I'm going to let you sleep here, see you."

"You are not staying? I thought you were looking for a quiet on call room earlier." She replied, looking at him.

"I know, but I rested in the hallway, I am going to help in the ER. Plus, I have a surgery in a hour." He waved his hand and left. Letting Amelia on her own. Suddenly, she was not tired anymore, it was like all the tiredness was gone with Owen. Her shift was almost over, but she did not want to go back into her apartment. After almost two weeks, she realized that living alone was not that great. The first days were awesome but now, when she was going back home, all she found was an empty and sad home and it was boring. There was nothing to do there. Thinking about the fact that it will probably be like this until the end of her life made her feel sad. She did not wish this, she thought saving lives will be her only goal in her life but now she needed more. At this moment, she was considering the eventuality of having a family. 'Why not?' She wondered. Why couldn't she be happy like everyone? Maybe she ought to try, 'one last time'. Amelia was truly tempted to try again, but for that, she needed someone to love and someone who will love her back. She did not if she will have the strength to get to know a man and fall in love with him.

* * *

After two more weeks in her new home, the brunette felt more and more alone. This was the reason why she spent a lot of time at Meredith's or Alex's. Or she lingered at work even though she was not on call.

One night, it was Friday, the emergency room was full of people. Amelia needed more medical supplies, she headed towards a supply room. When she opened the door, she realized that somebody was there and after having switched the light on, she saw Owen and the blond woman, Maureen making out together. The neurosurgeon was a little bit shocked.

"Oh my god, I'm so so sorry." Amelia walked out of the room and shut the door. She was on her way to another room when heard Owen following her, saying he could explain what she just saw. She stopped walking and turned to look at him. "Owen, we're not together and you have the right to kiss your girlfriend, even if somewhere else than the supply room would be better, so what do you want to explain to me?" She spoke.

"Well, I don't know why I feel like I owe you an explanation and I got the feeling that I got caught cheating on you." He said, they were both embarrassed. Owen because Amelia surprised them and Amelia because she walked in on them kissing.

"But you did not Owen. Now she is going to think that you abandoned her for me, she's going be mad at you." Amelia retorted.

"Yeah, oh my god, what am I gonna tell her?" He did not have the time to think more about it because Maureen joined them.

"Owen, what happened, why did you run away?" It was the first time Amelia heard the woman talk, and she sounded pretty nice.

"Hi, sorry it's my fault, Owen needed to tell me something important about one of our patient, so he followed me to tell me." Amelia said, hoping she saved Owen from having an explanation with his girlfriend.

"Oh, okay, no problem. Do you need me to go so you can… work on this patient together?" Maureen said. Amelia didn't know why she did not like that woman before, but now that she is talking to her, she found her really kind. Of course, Owen would not date someone nasty.

"No, it's fine, we're done. I am leaving now." Amelia said and winked at Owen. He nodded, to thank her silently and she left. Now, there were no more doubts about Owen and his girlfriend, they were together for real.

Amelia still contemplated the idea of having a new boyfriend. The main problem was that she didn't know where to find this new partner. During the last two weeks, she looked at every men she crossed at the hospital, in the street, at the mall, etc., but none of them seemed good enough to her. There was only one guy who was cute enough to her. He was tall, brown hair and blue eyes. She saw him almost every day at the cafeteria, but she did not know how to talk to him. That night, after she surprised Owen and Maureen together, Amelia finished what she had to do and went to the cafeteria, hoping she will see him. Lucky for her, he was there, she ordered a coffee and sat at an unoccupied table. Seeking attention from him, she started to stare at him and when, finally, he looked at her, she smiled at him. He was having a conversation with some of his friends. The guy smiled at her back and got up to walk until Amelia.

"Hey, do you need something?" He asked her.

"Not at all, why?" Amelia said.

"I don't know, you were staring at me, so I thought you might need something." He answered.

"No, that's okay, I just looked at you because…" she did not know how to justify that she watched him for more than ten minutes. "I don't know actually, sorry, I'll watch someone else, so it won't bother you anymore." She laughed nervously.

"It didn't bother me, I like when pretty women are admiring me." Amelia blushed, she was embarrassed and promised herself she would not try to flirt with someone again.

"I wasn't admiring you, my gaze just… went on you… not on purpose. Does that mean I am pretty? Thank you." She said with a coy smile.

"Yes it's exactly what I meant. By the way, I am Nathan, from the gynecology service." He introduced himself, he held out his hand, waiting for a handshake. "No need to say who you are, you're Amelia Shepherd, one of the best neurosurgeon, the one who took off Dr. Herman's tumor."

"Yes I am, thank you for the compliment, again." She took his hand and shook it gently. He sat on the chair in front of her. "So, what's your job exactly?" She questioned him, it was the only question which came into her mind.

"Well, you know I check if everything's okay with the baby and sometimes, I help to woman to give birth." He replied. They continued to talk together for a half an hour, getting to know each other until Amelia's pager rang. He told her they could see each other again the next day at the cafeteria for lunch and they exchanged their phone numbers, in case one of them could not come. While they were talking, Owen came into the cafeteria to buy a doughnut, he watched Amelia, smiled at her and then left. During the thirty minutes they talked together, she learned a lot of things about Nathan. This latter was an only child, he grew up in a ranch in Texas and moved to Seattle because his aunt lived there and he spent many of his summer holidays there when he was a kid and loved this city. First, he wanted to be a surgeon too but during his internship, he discovered the gynecology and fell in love with this service.

When she arrived to the emergency room, she realized that the patient she had been paged for, didn't need a neuro consult at all. It was a twelve-year-old boy with a broken arm and a wound on the chest, no bruises on the head. Nevertheless, Amelia checked the pupils and the reflexes to be sure there was nothing.

"Who paged me on that case?" She asked, pissed because she interrupted an interesting conversation for no reason.

"I think Dr. Hunt did." Answered one of the nurse who was in the room with her. Amelia was about to ask why he paged her, but Owen entered in the room at this moment so she could ask him directly.

"Why did you page me? This patient does not need a neurosurgeon! He does not have head injuries." She spoke sharply as he was barely in the room.

"I know but… He fell so I wanted to make sure he had no brain damages, maybe he fell on his head." Owen answered.

"My head didn't hit the floor when I fell from my bike." The little boy said. Amelia quickly smile at him to appear polite and rushed out of the room. Owen was right behind her. "I can't believe you did that Owen, you did it on purpose didn't you?"

"Why would I do that Amelia? It's stupid." He said, looking at her in the eyes.

"Because, maybe you saw me talking to this guy but you don't want me to be happy so you ruined the whole thing!"

"Cut the crap Amelia, I didn't see you with a guy, what are you talking about. The patient fell from his bike, he could have hit his head." Owen said. Amelia was angry, she preferred to leave before she says something she would regret later. She went into her office, one of the few places she knew nobody will bother her, to work on some cases. After all, maybe Owen did not page her on purpose, she flared up because she moved for nothing. Perhaps he was truly worried for the patient because he is a good doctor. The neurosurgeon started to feel angry for yelling at him. She should probably apology but she was too proud to do it.

* * *

At lunch, the next day, Amelia met Nathan in the cafeteria. She was tired, she finished to work really late the previous day and she was not supposed to be there that day but she came for her date. Actually, the brunette was not sure it was a date, maybe it was not. While they ate and talked, she could feel what Owen felt during his first date with Maureen: the curious eyes of her friends. Indeed, Maggie, April, Meredith and Callie were eating on a table not far from Amelia and couldn't stop looking at her while talking. After the lunch, Amelia realized that Nathan was, finally, not really her type of guy. He did not like children, he told her he didn't want kids because it was a burden. He liked to hang out almost every day with his friends and drink a lot of alcohol during parties. She could not bear alcohol anymore, she used to drink a lot but now it is over. Even though there are rough days where she was tempted by a drink, she always managed it.

She would not end her life with Nathan but he could be just a fling, like Owen was, to feel less lonely at nights.

"We could have dinner together next Wednesday, what do you think about it?" He said at the end of the lunch, when he had to go to work.

"Yeah, why not, text me to tell me the time and the place." She smiled at him and he left, so did she before her friends come to question her about this guy.

What was nice was that she did not have to use her car to go to work. Her home was not far away from the hospital so she could walk. She was about to take a nap when she heard her phone vibrating. It was Owen calling her. She quickly wondered why and answered the phone.

"I miss you." Owen said before she had the times to speak. Amelia was not expecting something like that.

"Owen, it's Amelia here, wrong number." This is the only reason why Owen could have said that to here.

"No, I miss you Amelia, I haven't called the wrong person, it's you and it's your voice I wanna hear." The brunette was lost, she had nothing to reply to that, and she almost hung up the phone.

"Well, here I am. What do you want me to tell you?" Her voice trembled.

"I wished you would say you miss me too but, I know you loathe me now. I don't even know what I did to you. Did we only stop dating because I chose you instead of Callie months ago? I've been thinking about that for hours and it's what I found. But if you want to, we can start all over again, I promise I won't do the same mistakes, please Amelia, please…" Amelia found his way of speaking strange.

"Are you drunk Owen?" She said, worried about him.

"I just drank a tiny tiny tiny tiny glass of whisky, or maybe two, or maybe it was a bottle I'm not sure. Anyway just a little bit, not enough to be drunk."

"I do think you're drunk, where are you?" She became more and more concerned about him at the moment.

"Home, I mean, not home. At the trailer, because I don't have a home, I'm just all alone, in my trailer."

Afterwards, she hung up the phone and took her car key and drove until the trailer. She was too anxious to let Owen on his own after drinking a lot of alcohol. When she went out of the car, it was pouring down and really cold and Amelia forgot her coat in the hurry. She ran to reach the trailer, where she entered without knocking. Owen was there, on the bed, half sleeping. She could smell the alcohol from where she was standing. She went closer to him.

"You came." He mumbled. She knew people had already found her this way, at the time she was drinking and taking drugs a lot, and she found this awful. Amelia filled a glass with water and found an aspirin in a cupboard. Then she gave these to him. "Thanks." He whispered.

"Now it's time to sleep, take off your shoes and go to bed." Once he did, Amelia sat on the only chair of the trailer. She went to checked on Owen few minutes later, he was already fast asleep. Even though it was only four in the afternoon, the young woman was exhausted. She wanted to take a nap before Owen bothered her. On the chair, it was uncomfortable, but it was Amelia's turn to drift off in dreamland.

* * *

 **Thank you again for your few reviews, even though I don't get a lot of reviews, it always make me smile when I get one so thank you soooo much. Leave one if you liked it, same if you did not like it, and follow if you want to know when I'll post the next chapter :)**

 **PS : I really need a beta, so if anyone's interested in being my beta, just tell me! ;)**


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